On Something I Never Had

Sometimes I wonder if I really want some of the things that I never had or if I just want them all the more just because they were denied of me. Typical human nature, to want what we can’t have, what was denied of us despite our asking for it. It’s stuff like this that make humans so shitty yet at the same time its flaws like these that make us who we are as a species. That can either be good or bad depending on where you’re coming from.

We hold on to moments and use them to justify bigger things, but in the end moments aren’t enough, and sooner or later you’re gonna have to realize that those moments that you’re holding on to are long gone. And you’re still here, holding on to something that you should have let go of a long, long time ago.

I had myself convinced for the longest time that I want something sane, something simple. But I’m not sane and I’m not simple, so why the hell was I looking for that?

Maybe, hopefully, next time that I fall in love, it will be grand.

“Wherever I go, whatever I do, I wonder where I am in my relationship to you. Wherever you go, wherever you are, I watch your life play out in pictures from afar.”

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