There have been a lot of goodbyes this year.

I just came back from NU 107.5’s station, and I have to say that that was quite an experience, saying goodbye to something that has played a large part in Original Pinoy Music. I can’t say that I was the biggest most avid follower of NU, and I haven’t been a steady listener for a while now. But I do recognize that something grand has ended. As must happen in life, unfortunately, but that doesn’t make it any less sad.

Now that 2010 is on its second to the last month, it made me realize just how many goodbyes I, along with my peers, have had to say this year. What with graduating college, moving out of my apartment in Katipunan, and too many people moving, migrating, studying, and disappearing into God knows where in the far reaches of the earth. It’s hard, saying goodbye, but I’m not naive and thinking that they can be avoided. I welcome goodbyes, actually, because change causes growth, and growth means life. But that doesn’t make it any less hard.

I remember walking into my empty apartment on the last day of our contract. I had been at work all day when my family was emptying out the rest of the stuff that was in it, so I was completely alone when I went there after work, and it was completely devoid of any of my personal possessions. I cried, of course, and took a few pictures, and sat outside on the balcony for the last time, remembering every single sentimental sleepless night I spent sitting there watching how Katipunan never really sleeps. I never got to find out who was that guy who started singing “Bed of Roses” along to my “Killing Me Softly” on my first day there, and I never got to find out the weirdo who kept leaving banana peels along the hallway.

Then there was graduation. Ah, graduation.

My two seconds of glory, walking across the stage and shaking the LS Schools’ president’s hand. Step, step, grab, shake, turn, bow, turn, walk off stage. It felt amazing, it felt glorious, and it felt almost empty. It was goodbye. It was moving on, yes, but it was quite a significant goodbye nonetheless. Then there was the customary droves of people who left after graduation. People I love, people I never particularly liked, and people that I would have liked to be a part of my life. It was one goodbye after another. Others left full of hope, some left trying to run away from something, but in an instant there were far fewer people in my life. Poof.

Tonight, it was NU 107.5. Like I said before, you’d probably find tons of other people who are bigger fans than I am. But I know what NU has contributed to Philippine music, and I know the different doors it has opened to so many different people. It was an idea that grew into something that affected so many lives, and now it’s gone. And there are still two more months to go. Phew.

November is around the time when people start looking toward the new year. “I hope next year will be just as awesome.” “I just want to get the year over with.” “I hope it changes.” I hope, I hope, I hope. I myself already have big, lofty plans for 2011, and it is because of these plans that it is easier for me to see the big picture and realize that goodbyes happen, life moves on. But as of right now, in this moment, all I can hope for is that this is the last of the goodbyes for now. I’m tired. I’m not even sooper kadooper, kick-you-in-the-crotch-spit-on-your-neck affected, but after this particularly huge goodbye, all I feel is tired.

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2 thoughts on “There have been a lot of goodbyes this year.

  1. Beautiful post Nikki, I enjoyed reading this even though it made me feel rather sentimental towards the end. I wasn’t a hardcore NU 107 fan as well, but I still felt sad about it being reformatted into a pop station. :(

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